Ice Cream

How do you forget someone you love? I can’t, I am cursed with an amazing memory. I remember he was eating ice cream in front of me. I was eating ice cream too, but I was watching him, he looked so handsome and sexy that I wished I was the ice cream he was eating.  I was telling a story just to break the silence; he smiled at me and asked if I wanted to taste his ice cream. I bit my lip and thank God for not giving him the super power of reading my mind.

 I have a dirty mind. I was staring at him, I could not keep my eyes away from him and it seemed he could not keep his eyes away from me either. I felt it, what some call chemistry, I felt his energy all over me, felt myself smile from the inside out because of him. He looked at me and his eyes sparkle, it was crazy, it felt so intense, the ice cream was melting fast. I had never wished to become ice cream before, I did not want to taste his ice cream I wanted to taste his lips, so now I was in deep trouble for now I wanted to be inside his mouth.

I told myself, it is all in your mind, control yourself, control your thoughts, I wondered if he felt it too, the chemistry? I think he did and that is why he asked me out the next day. He told me that he enjoyed being with me and wanted to see me again.

I wanted to see him again too, but I said sorry, I can’t. I was afraid of turning into ice cream, I am not kidding, I was a fool, I was a coward, I was afraid he might find out how much I liked him, how much his smile made me smile. I did not want to fall in love, and I was pretty sure that if I saw him again I would fall in love with him, because he was exactly my type if I had a type which I don’t, but he could very well be my type and I felt like leaving the country just to forget. Which I did too (left the country) but still I did not forget him.

I was an idiot to say no, a real coward, afraid to open my heart to love, because love is so very scary to a control freak like me. I was afraid let go and dive into my emotions, my feelings of desire and God knows what would happen if I let loose. That is my only regret and will never forget and I will never allow myself to doubt my heart again or be afraid of anything that will help me to grow. The control freak in me died after that and I would not waste another opportunity like that again if given the chance.

 
I will never forget the lesson in love, because that is what it was, if

you love someone, then you do what it takes and you take the risk, even if it means you might turn into ice cream. When I hear that things happen for a reason I think it is only up to me to make things happen. It’s all about choices.